Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Helloooo?! Is anybody in there?

     My coworker uses that phrase when she sees I`m phasing out. Or whenever I don`t reply. Seriously, how many times a day we all phase out, when somebody talks to us? Some of you might say never. On my better days, the number of these funny occurences stays somewhere around 3. But there are some days, well...when I`m just not responsive. I`m just somewhere else. Perhaps in a magical land full of jumping unicorns and little fairies dancing on leaves and singing macarena. But more than often, I find myself in a role of bystander. Not thinking anything. My face expression is dull; only my eyes can tell there is still a light on. But unfortunately, nobody`s home.

What`s going on?

     I`d really like to say I`m thinking in these situations. But most of the time, when people talk for too long or too much, I just turn off the light and start to focus on something else. Of course, while they are still speaking. The last time I found myself in this state, my coworker was talking to me. In the middle of her request, I started to notice her face more and more. "Look at her lips, why do they move like that? Gosh, she`s pretty even without much make-up on. I`m so jealous. Hmmm...she looks tired, do I look tired after the day spent in the office?" And this list could go on and on...
     And she just said 4 sentences. About wine. Now I don`t know what your judgement tells you, but it`s not because she`s pretty and she`s my coworker. It happens to me all the time, with other people as well. My mind just wanders off when it feels something`s going to be boring as hell.

What if...

     And I wonder what would it look like if this story happened during some activity. Like jogging, or walking home from the office. But wait, it happens all the time! I often think about how I look like when I`m just thinking. Am I like a plane set on an auto-pilot? What if I walked to the edge of a cliff and just walked off it, just like that, to the void? I often imagine what would happen if I never snapped out of it. Would I be like those people in vigilant coma? I know, I know...this business should be no fun, but I really thought of it.

Thinking too much

     I guess I`m just thinking too much. Yea, that`s the problem. I`m thinking about thinking. A whole new level of thinking, you could say :D So, if you catch me not paying attention to what you say, it`s not because I`m ignorant. It`s not because I don`t care. I`m not deaf either. It`s way of thinking. And I could think about anything. Fish in the sea? I thought of them yesterday. Electric cables sizzling in the wind and rain? You got it.

Being a dreamer...

     ...Is not that easy. Of course you can pass time more swiftly. But you worry constantly about things which are taken for granted. About things that don`t concern you, really. Man, sometimes I feel like I can`t turn my brain off. Even in my sleep I`m still thinking. More than often I tend to wake up at 3 a.m. and write down some new ideas. But it`s a BS most of the time. I can only hope that one day, I will break the world with something brand new. Something I wrote down after I woke up in the middle of the night.

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About Sidney Aldaine

My name is Sidney Aldaine. And this is the start of my ultimate project, my Fantasma. My way of helping people to make them feel better. My way of contributing something of a value to the world we all live in. Thank you for stopping by, I hope you enjoy my little corner of the web. Place, where I left a piece of my soul and dreams. A Fantastic place. I would love to call myself a blogger and a writer some day. And I`m not going to give up this dream, at least not until my Fantasma comes into reality.

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